Monday, October 30, 2006

A warning from the Prophet Isaiah!

The Church I attend on most Sundays, Leeds Parish, is not “political.” During the Presidential election run-up, Bush and Carey bumper stickers were more-or-less equally distributed in the parking lot on Sunday mornings. Moreover, weekly Bible readings, from the Old Testament, the Epistles and the Gospels are, I believe, prescribed by the Anglican Communion. Not being an Episcopalian, though I was baptized as one, I don’t understand the selection process exactly.

Nonetheless, this week’s Old Testament Reading, from the book of the Prophet Isaiah (59: 1-4; 9-19) seemed timely. I quote:

“.See the Lord’s hand is not too short to save, nor his ear to dull to hear. Rather, your iniquities have been barriers between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear. For your hands are defiled with blood, and your fingers with iniquity; your lips have spoken lies, your tongue mutters wickedness. No one brings suit justly, no one goes to law honestly; they rely on empty pleas, they speak lies, conceiving mischief and begetting iniquity. Therefore justice is far from us, and righteousness does not reach us; we wait for light, and lo! there is darkness; and for brightness, but we walk in gloom. We grope like the blind along a wall, groping like those who have no eyes; we stumble at noon in the twilight, among the vigorous as though we were dead. We all growl like bears; like doves we moan mournfully.

“We wait for justice, but there is none; for salvation, but it is far from us. For our transgressions before you are many, and our sins testify against us. Our transgressions indeed are with us and we know our iniquities; transgressing and denying the Lord, and turning away from following our God, talking oppression and revolt, conceiving lying words and uttering them from the heart. Justice is turned back, and righteousness stands at a distance; for truth stumbles in the in the public square, and uprightness cannot enter.

“The Lord saw it and it displeased him that there was no justice. He saw there was no one; and was appalled that there was no one to intervene., so his own arm brought him victory and his righteousness upheld him….

“According to their deeds, so will he repay; wrath to his adversaries, requital to his enemies; to the coastlands he will render requital. So those in the west shall fear the name of the Lord and those in the east, his glory; for he will come like a pent-up stream that the wind of the Lord drives on.”

A matter of accountability

Many of my conversations with students are very positive. But I encourage them to speak with me candidly. Often, they do so in confidence. Rightly or wrongly, they fear retribution if their concerns are made public. Openness to ‘bad news,’ I have long believed, is one of the most important attributes of successful parents, managers, organizations, and political leaders. This means that I sometimes hear about matters I wish I didn’t have to hear about. Here are some recent examples.

“I learned today that a year ago, my advisor made a mistake in advising me. It was one of her first days. She was untrained. She was supposed to be working with a more senior colleague, but the colleague didn’t show up. Because of this, I won’t be able to take the elective courses I had planned to take. Fortunately I won’t have to pay any extra money. It will just mean that next semester – my last at AU, will be less useful and rewarding than it otherwise might have been. … you don’t need to do anything about this. I know these things just happen.” (Undergraduate student sharing a concern at a meeting)

“I really appreciate your concern about my not getting paid on time. That you would make this a personal priority is great, and a big surprise … but don’t worry about it. I have worked at AU, in various offices, for nearly four years. Problems with getting checks on time, with getting paid the correct amount, with having accounts properly credited are simply the way things are. I have come to accept these problems as a fact of life at AU.” (Personal conversation between dormgrandpop and part-time graduate student staff member)

“I have told staff members in AU’s Financial Aid Office, over and over, that because I live in Guam, mailing important documents to my ‘home address’ creates endless problems. Either they say they will take care of it or they say that regulations require them to mail materials to Guam. They wouldn’t even mail to my grandparents home, in Bethesda! There is little attempt at empathy or understanding. Following the rules, however irrational, seems to be the only thing that is important. As a result I have missed important documents and deadlines. Seemingly endless hours have had to be spent sorting out problems – over and over again. My parents and I have now mostly resolved the matter, but the solution is a bit costly. Whenever they receive a document from AU that seems important, they send it back to me by express mail. …We have come to accept that this is just the way things are at AU. (Personal conversation between dormgrandpop and an outstanding part-time undergraduate student staff member, now graduated).

I submitted a request to have a security lock installed on the computer laboratory in February. There have been endless follow-ups and personal interventions. Several hours of managers’ time, over a ten-month period, have been spent trying to complete this project, with numerous telephone inquiries and email exchanges. Finally, I decided: “We can’t take any more time with this. We must just give up any expectation that this will ever be done. Possibly, we will look at bringing in an outside contractor over the Christmas break.” (Dormgrandpop providing guidance to a senior manager in the Center for Teaching Excellence)

“My educational experience at AU has been great. I love my school and my department. Many faculty and staff members in my school and department have walked the extra mile to ensure that I got the most out of my time here. But my feelings about the administrative side of AU, outside my department and school, are completely different.” (Conversation between dormgrandpop and an outstanding doctoral student, now writing his dissertation, who also completed his MA degree at AU.)

It is possible for senior administrators to intervene and solve some problems like those described. In fact, my experience has been that most problems at AU can be solved and most goals can be achieved if one has sufficient skill, positive energy, focus, tenacity and patience. But sometimes there are deep-seeded structural problems outside of one’s area of responsibility that must simply be set aside, at least for the moment. And one must pick his or her shots: perpetual whiners and complainers accomplish nothing at AU.

The first lines of Reinhold Neihbur’s serenity prayer, also used by many ‘twelve step’ organizations provide useful guidance.

Give me strength to endure what I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can, and
Wisdom to know the difference.

But even when enduring what I cannot change, I must not allow my sensibilities to be dulled. I must not lose my sense of outrage, especially where matters adversely impacting students come to my attention. I must not passively accept a ‘drift to low performance.’ I must hold myself personally – and institutionally - accountable. One can not always be ‘a nice guy.’

That is one reason I am writing this blog.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

‘The West Wing’ - Lessons for a difficult time

I rarely watch television, but have recently become an active subscriber to Netflix. Recently, I decided that watching the entire ‘West Wing’ series might be good entertainment for an inside the Beltway resident, and, possibly, a learning experience too.

So far, the series has more than met my expectations. I strongly recommend it. Moreover, it is great to watch a TV series without commercials, which seem to become more intrusive, each year. Commercials are the principal reason I am an infrequent TV viewer.

Two themes stand out in my mind. First is the pace of life in The West Wing; the degree to which it becomes an all-consuming activity making any sort of personal life almost impossible. “This is the most important thing in my life, for these few years,” Chief of Staff Leo McGarry tells his wife as she is about to leave him. Of course that is true for many positions that are not only jobs but ‘callings.’ In fact, I view my own position in that way and, for a variety of reasons, what might be called a ‘personal life’ takes second place, more often than not.

A second theme is basic humanity. Despite political pressures and a hectic pace, the show’s characters exhibit human qualities and grapple with the conflicts between those qualities and the imperatives of politics. Sometimes, too, they make politically inexpedient decisions and bear the consequences. One commentator described the show as an antidote to widely held cynicism about public service at the highest levels in Washington, D.C.

But cynicism seems pervasive in Washington, as mid-term elections approach. The emphasis on ‘mobilizing the base’ and creating ‘wedge issues’ fuels this. When I discussed the West Wing series with one friend, she gave me her theory of why the show had been taken off the air: it was because the Bush Administration put pressure on senior managers in NBC’s parent company who were political allies. Bush political advisors simply could not stand to have Americans watch a popular series that portrayed members of a somewhat liberal administration carrying out their duties with a degree of principle and humanity. (There is no hard evidence that this was the reason for the show’s conclusion. Commentaries I read, by both fans and critics, suggested it had simply run its course.)

But the show is still widely available via Netflix and other sources. I doubt that members of President Bush’s Administration, especially the Administration’s Rasputin, Karl Rove, will be viewers. But, as they grapple with some of the lowest approval ratings ever, a failed foreign policy, pervasive corruption and the prospect of a landslide vote of no confidence, an occasional viewing might serve them well.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Voices of experience: faculty views of residence hall living and working

Faculty views on residence hall living.
AU’s office of Campus life just completed a manual that is both a source reference book for faculty residents and a way of communicating about the program to others. AU’s Vice President for Campus Life hired a consultant to do this.

I was a bit skeptical about the project at first, but the final product has won we over completely - and I don’t think it is just because the consultant quoted from a lengthy interview with me, extensively and faithfully. AU students -- and others too -- may be interested in what faculty with experience living and working on campus have to say. I am providing pretty much the entire selection of quotes - below:

A student asked if I didn't find living in the dorm 'burdensome' at least from time-to-time and how I coped with that. I had to think about this -- my response will perhaps sound like Pollyanna but is, nonetheless, true. I hardly ever find my life burdensome – students are considerate, friendly, and seem happy to have me there.
I feel that I am making a difference.
DGP


Most important, I am having an opportunity that must be shared by a relatively small number of 68-year-olds
in the U.S. or anywhere -- being able to authentically share,
to some degree, in the lives of a generation that is
nearly 40 years younger than I am.
DGP

There is a lot to be learned,
and I have many teachers.
Life in Anderson Hall is a gift,
not a burden.
DGP

Principles

The Power of Presence
“Crossing the forbidden boundary. You want to have informal discussions with people, you get them in the off hours, you get them where they eat [and live]. My capacity to be the shaper of that kind of environment, to be that kind of resource to bounce things off of depends on me being available. Having an office in the dorm makes me more approachable.”
- Asst. Prof. Patrick Thaddeus Jackson, Leonard Hall

Breaking Barriers
“I go to class, and I enjoy that and get rewarded for that, but I don’t think I allow students to communicate with me as much as they could. There’s a bit of a barrier. Maybe this little experiment I’m doing is to break down that barrier.”
- Assoc. Prof. John C. Doolittle, Hughes Hall

Bridging the Gap between Students & Faculty
“I enjoy working with students, living with them, sharing their lives (to the degree they wish to do so) and learning from them…. I moved into the dorm to help bridge the gap between students and at least one faculty member.”
- DGP, Anderson Hall

Infusing Academics into Campus Life
“I’d like to encourage informal contact to send a signal that academic life does not end at the classroom door.”
- Assoc. Prof. W. Joseph Campbell, McDowell Hall

Sharing Experience
“I found myself in conversations with students every time I entered and left the building. We would discuss academics, entertainment, the weather, and life. When I say ‘hello’ to Hughes residents on campus or in town, that ‘hello’ has new meaning for us both because we have a shared experience.”
- Prof. Doolittle

Building Community
“The many casual, informal conversations with students were particularly gratifying. I was made to feel very welcome in McDowell, and I've developed an affinity, or sense of loyalty or attachment, to the residence hall.”
- Prof. Campbell

Appreciating the Student Experience
“As a facility member ... I’ve lost touch with what my students are thinking about and caring about. I want to meet students on a common ground. [Faculty] don’t understand what students do in their own sphere.”
- Prof. Doolittle

Providing an Entry Point for Faculty & Administrators
“Professor Campbell’s role in providing a doorway into the dorms for faculty is tremendously important. Professor Campbell has created a wonderful meeting ground.”
- Dean Larry Kirkman, School of Communications

Exposing Students to Authentic Faculty Members
“One of my goals is to have students perceive and appreciate faculty as more complete human beings. I think that would be a good point of departure for breaking down the walls.”
- DGP

Lowering the Divide
“When people are in class they’re sort of institutionally programmed to be looking for the expectation of the instructor so they can figure out how to get a good grade. You drop into my office, and you’re just here for a chat, there’s not that same kind of pressure.”
- Prof. Jackson

Providing Resources
“There’s no better place for a faculty office than a residence hall. You’re quite close to daily student life but at a discrete distance. You can be a resource, a mentor, a sounding board, all in unscripted and informal ways.”
- Prof. Campbell


“It's the most rewarding thing I've done
in 42 years of teaching.”

DGP
Resident Faculty, Anderson Hall

Friday, October 13, 2006

Enemy of the People?

Over the past week or so, circumstances have lead me to reflect on the challenges faced by activists and change agents. A play that I first studied as a high school stucent, Norwegian Dramatist, Henrik Ibsen's “Enemy of the People” came to mind. AU students, among the most politically active in the US often discuss such challenges and grapple with them.

“Here is a brief synopsis of Ibsen’s play from the website www.sparknotes.com .
The town in which the play is set has built a huge bathing complex that is crucial to the town's economy. Dr. Stockmann has just discovered that the baths' drainage system is seriously contaminated. He alerts several members of the community, including Hovstad and Aslaksen, and receives generous support and thanks for making his discovery in time to save the town. The next morning, however, his brother, who is also the town's mayor, tells him that he must retract his statements, for the necessary repairs would be too expensive; additionally, the mayor is not convinced by Dr. Stockmann's findings. The brothers have a fierce argument, but Dr. Stockmann hopes that at least Hovstad's newspaper will support him. However, the mayor convinces Hovstad and Aslaksen to oppose Dr. Stockmann.

The doctor holds a town meeting to give a lecture on the baths, but Aslaksen and the mayor try to keep him from speaking. Dr. Stockmann then begins a long tirade in which he condemns the foundations of the town and the tyranny of the majority. The audience finds his speech incredibly offensive, and the next morning the doctor's home is vandalized. He and his daughter are fired. The mayor insinuates that the doctor's actions were merely a scheme to inherit more of Morten Kiil's money, and Kiil himself soon arrives to suggest just such a plan to Dr. Stockmann. However, the doctor refuses all such suggestions and decides to defy authority and remain in town. His family is supportive, and he says that the strongest man is the man who stands alone.”

It is easy to identify with the character of Stockmann, which I did when I read and reread the play as a young man. But Stockmann, while sticking to his principles, has failed the people of the town. The contaminated bath waters will continue to sicken visitors and townspeople. He is simply a voice crying in the wilderness, to little effect. The challenge for the activist and change agent is not only the somewhat sterile and hollow satisfaction of “being right” which is where Stockman finds himself at the end of the play. The activist and change agent must also be effective. How could Stockman be true to his beliefs, but at the same time achieve his goal: protecting those who use the baths from disease.? Having failed, perhaps the label, ‘enemy of the people’ with which the townspeople brand him, may be appropriate, after all.

Those who seek to be change agents, in politics or non political institutions need to ponder Ibsen’s message in “Enemy of the People,” Could the message be more subtle than it might appear on first reading?

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Anderson Hall - our new "celebrity home"

A quote from THE STYLE CHANNEL website
“Who says you have to be rich to live in the lap of luxury? Style's new series My Celebrity Home teaches regular joes how--with some creative thinking and a little elbow grease--the good life can be had at a great price.

After an exclusive tour of one star's posh pad--Hilary Duff shares the secrets of her special sewing room, Kathy Griffin shows off her hip L.A. digs--host Peter Marr joins forces with a lucky homeowner and a famous designer to re-create the high-end look without the Hollywood price tag.

With a budget of just $3,000, the team must shop smart at boutiques, hardware stores, flea markets, even thrift stores. Haggling is encouraged, and DIY is the name of the game. It's quite a challenge, but with accomplished designers like Nate Berkus (The Oprah Winfrey Show) on the case, success is virtually guaranteed.

And as if inside access to the private oases of today's most stylish stars weren't enough, MCH also takes on hot spots like the Wynn resort in Las Vegas and the exquisite Wisteria Lane home of Desperate Housewife Bree Van De Kamp.

Part how-to, part eye candy, this star-studded show spotlights the best in dramatic decor--and delivers beautiful abodes on a budget.”


While I was in Hungary, Housing and Dining Executive Director Julie Weber contacted me about gaining access to my apartment. The purpose was to submit a proposal for some sort of television contest, she said. I had pretty much forgotten about this until she called last Monday to ask about my weekend schedule. We needed to meet for a very important event, she said, but she was vague about the details. We agreed on Sunday morning. Since I had never heard of The Style Network, let alone watched it, I was the perfect candidate for what I believe is a new feature of the show, “My Celebrity Home,” SURPRISE!

A dorm complex with a single entrance is a difficult place to keep something entirely secret. There seemed to be an unusual number of strangers about, some carrying video equipment. An unfamiliar truck was parked in front of Anderson. The glass panel on the Anderson first floor lounge door, adjoining my apartment, was covered with opaque paper and a ‘do not enter sign.’ I could guess that something was up, but I could not have imagined what.

The first solid information came when a Style Network producer knocked on my door, Sunday morning. I was to be prepared for some videotaping in about an hour, but he wouldn’t say exactly what. Soon the two students who had been key players orchestrating the project, Becca and Justin, knocked on my door. We have created something special for you, along with some other students, they said. Following their instructions, I closed my eyes and was lead into First Floor Lounge, formerly a rather sterile, unwelcoming place.

When I was a child, my parents believed in “impact” on Christmas morning. When I went up to bed, after the traditional reading of “The Night Before Christmas,’ our living room would be as always, excepting stockings “hung by the chimney with care.” When I was lead down stairs in the morning (no peeking allowed) the living room would have become a magical place.

That was my experience this Sunday morning. The transformation of the lounge to resemble an upscale Los Angeles Restaurant, “La Dolce,” left me speechless – literally. The walls were a soft designer green. There were elegant black furnishings, highlighted with gold settees and throw cushions. The table was beautifully set for twelve. I had long wanted a place such as this to entertain, but never dreamed such an elegant one could be created in such an unappetizing space. In a stunning moment, I experienced a dream come true; a prayer answered.

After the taping I learned more about events of the past few days. More than twenty-five Style Channel staff had been on campus since Thursday evening. Justin, Becca and the designer spent most of Friday shopping. There was filming on campus, featuring interviews of AU students, shots of my apartment and before and after shots of the lounge. Becca and Justin’s shopping trips with the designer are also captured on film. As Center for Teaching Excellence Director, I have learned enough about multimedia to know that shooing a one hour prime-time television show is a huge enterprise. Much of it happened right under my nose. Keeping me oblivious to the project must have added to its complexity. I hope it added to the fun as well.

I am told that the screening will be on a Wednesday night in December, from nine to ten PM. The date is not set for sure, but will be posted on the Style Channel Website when it is.

Tonight’s dinner will be a special one as we celebrate the first AU event in this beautiful new space. Keskou Fassia (Fez Style Lamb from Morocco) is on the menu.

Its time for me to go shopping.

You don't have to be taught to love, you have to be taught not to

From time to time I write about the late Donella (Dana) Meadows. Among Dana’s many contributions, she founded the Balaton Group. In September, I wrote about the Group’s 25th Anniversary Celebrations. During the last years of her life, Dana wrote a monthly letter that she called “Dear Folks.” It was similar in many respects to a blog, providing thoughtful reflections in an informal personal context. After she started writing her “Global Citizen” columns, she attached them to each monthly letter. (Dana’s columns are available at the Sustainability Institute Website; www.sustainer.org.

After Dana died, her friend Susie Sweitzer, a fellow resident of the Cobb Hill Co-Housing Community, and Sustainability Institute Staff Member, continued the columns, providing news about Cobb Hill and Sustainability. Susie also added a new feature. Each month, she begins her letter with a brief excerpt from one of Dana’s columns. For this month’s "Dear Folks" letter, Susie chose a 1987 reflection on the Balaton Group meetings, from which Dana had recently returned. I wanted to share an excerpt as a coda to my own account of the meetings. Dana wrote:

“I’m not sure why Balaton meetings are so special. I guess it started with the chemistry of the first members, who are still leaders of the Group. They are more than good scientists and good political activists, they are also good, honest, loving people and they have attracted other such people to the Group. New ones show up each year and fit right in. The meetings are regularly, predictably magical, at least for me. It’s if they don’t occur in real time or on this real, messed-up planet.

“You know, it’s easy to describe things that happen in your mind, intellectual things. I can tell you the good ideas I got at the meeting. But for me, Balaton meetings happen not just in the mind, but in the realm of mind/soul/heart//body integrated experience. They are a week of living fully in the moment, being fully with the people I’m with, being fully who I am without holding back anything. Times like that are indescribable….

I don’t see why the world can’t be [like that]. All week we were together, our nations sworn enemies of each other. Russians, Americans, Germans, Hungarians, Central Americans, Asians. And what was important was not our nationalities – it’s amazing how seldom nationalities come up at all in Balaton meetings. When they do, it’s as a contribution, as in songs or dances or rocks or data that are different and that be shared to make the whole picture more colorful and more complete. What’s important is who we are as people, what we stand for, how we can learn to serve to make a better world.

It’s not hard to be like that, it’s the most natural thing in the world. As a little song from “South Pacific” says, “You’ve got to be taught to hate and fear, you’ve got to be taught from year to year, it’s got to be drummed in your dear little ear, you’ve got to be carefully taught.”

You don’t have to be taught to love. The Balaton meeting gives me a safe space, both to think and to love, to be challenged intellectually and to let myself be mushy and hug people and sing and play with them without holding back my feelings. I feel released there, to be what I was put on this planet to be, loving, unguarded, emotional, happy. It’s a most wonderful feeling. I come home glowing and strengthened for another year.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Richly Textured Mosaic - One day of events in AU's life

Readers may recall from an earlier blog that about 6AM each morning, I receive a briefing from fthe morning shift manager of CTE’s Audio and Video Systems and Services Group.. Yester day morning’s briefing, in particular, impressed me with the rich diversity of a day’s menu of events. One might want to take advantage of so many, but their would not be enough discretionary hours in a week, let alone a day.

The time management issues such a list poses is one of many challenges AU students address and successful overcome during their time here. And it is one of many benefits that a University career at University bestows on those who choose it.

I asked the manager to email me yesterday’s events listing. It follows;

Wednesday October 4, 2006
CTE/AV Total Jobs 125(so far)

SPECIAL EVENTS

1. 7:30am - Butler 6th floor Conf. Room - Zeta Phi Beta - Fall Informational
2. 8am - MGC 245 - AUNTL - Class 54 Orientation
3. 8:30am - MGC 200 - Center for Social Media - 21st Century News
4. 8:30am - SIS Lounge - SIS Council and Faculty meeting
5. 12 noon - BIC 104 - Zeta Phi Beta - Dance Practice
6. 12 noon - Roper 101 - Economics meeting
7. 12 noon - Ward 201 - Latin American Student Organization - Study Abroad
8. 12:30pm - MGC 203/5 - Academic Support Center - Academic Skills Workshop
9. 12:30pm - Career Center - meeting
10. 1:30pm - Brandywine - WAMU meeting
11. 2pm - Butler Board Room - Faculty Senate Meeting
12. 3pm - McDowell Formal Lounge - Honors - Brain Bowl
13. 6pm - MGC 200 - Career Center - Standing Room Reservations
14. 7pm - Capital Auditorium - Public Safety - Training
15. 7pm - Tavern - Eagle Nights
16. 7pm - BIC 104 - Salsa Lessons
17. 7pm - Mckinley 108 - Community Action and Social Justice Meeting
18. 7:30pm - Butler Board Room - AU Foreign Policy Association General Meeting
19. 8pm - University Club - School of Communication - American Forum
20. 8pm - MGC 120 - Student Summer Research Panel - Creative Peace Initiatives
21. 9pm - Butler 6th floor Conf. Room - RHA weekly meeting
22. 9pm - MGC 200 - AU Republicans executive meeting
23. 11pm - AU Republicans General Meeting

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Four questions to guide us in turbulent times

In early August, I shared the experience of a valuable book I had just completed, Elizabeth Harper Need’s ‘A Sacred Primer: The Essential Guide to Quiet Time and Prayer.’ In book’s introduction, Elizabeth describes how a near death experience, on a sea voyage in a small boat, changed her husband’s life. She writes:

“Jerele reported that the next few minutes were some of the most clarifying of his life. Distinctions became crystal clear: what brought meaning and purpose to life and what did not. What mattered and what did not. Where his allegiance belonged, where it did not. Where he got fulfillment and where he did not?

‘…the experience for Jerele was no midnight conversion, to be forgotten in the morning. Major changes occurred over the months following his return home. He deepened his commitment to a daily spiritual practice. He started teaching a Sunday school class for eleven year olds. And he initiated the process that eventually resulted in his leaving a successful business that he had created to work in a different field in a position that he felt was truer to his life’s purpose. Ten minutes in a boat in dangerous seas. An image in which the heart is opened.

Students frequently experience turbulent times during their four years of college life. This is a time of growth, transition and intense engagement. Some may think this experience of turbulence is only a phase; that it is something one grows out of. The calm façade of adults and ‘elders’ in student’s lives is an illusion.

These past few days have become a time of turbulence and soul searching for me in ways I could never have imagined, even a week ago. It happens to all of us and is, I believe a consequence that flows from the commitment to make a difference and live life fully. I believe this commitment lies deep within every human being, though many try to suppress it. Our challenge is to embrace turbulent times, learn from them, discover what lies deep within ourselves and grow.

But we don’t need turbulent times to pose the questions Jerele asked himself in a moment of truth:

What brings meaning and purpose to my life and what does not?
What matters and what does not?
Where does my allegiance belong and where does it not?
Where do I get fulfillment, and where do I not?