Forgive us, Lord, forgive

This evening I attended an evening worship service in the small community church near my home in the country. It was ‘A Service of Holy Eucharist from the Celtic Tradition.’ I was powerfully impacted by the ‘confession of sin’ which was a major part of the service.

Lord, we heard that you were hungry, and we did not share our food.
Lord, we heard that you were thirsty, and we kept our drink for ourselves.
Lord, we saw you as a stranger and we closed our door and our hearts.
Lord, we say you go naked and we fussed about our clothes.
Lord, we discovered you were sick and we avoided contact with you.
Lord, we heard you were in prison, and we pretended not to know you.
Lord, you made us to live in harmony, with all creation, but we have walked too heavily upon the earth and damaged the natural balance of life.
Lord, we saw your image in the world, yet we have treated our fellow creatures with contempt.
Lord, you would come to us again and again, but we are closed up in ourselves.
Creator of all, Lover of all, you have entrusted the world to our care and we have betrayed you.
Holy Wisdom, you entrusted us with the care of our neighbors and we have betrayed you.
Brooding spirit, you have entrusted your gifts into our keeping and we have betrayed you.

Forgive us, Lord, forgive.

Impermanence

The following is a quotation from the site UrbanDharma.org entitled ‘The Buddhist Concept of Impermanence.

Impermanence and change are thus the undeniable truths of our existence. What is real is the existing moment, the present that is a product of the past, or a result of the previous causes and actions. Because of ignorance, an ordinary mind conceives them all to be part of one continuous reality. But in truth they are not.
The various stages in the life of a man, the childhood, the adulthood, the old age are not the same at any given time. The child is not the same when he grows up and becomes a young man, nor when the latter turns into an old man. The seed is not the tree, though it produces the tree, and the fruit is also not the tree, though it is produced by the tree.
The concept of impermanence and continuous becoming is central to early Buddhist teachings. It is by becoming aware of it, by observing it and by understanding it, one can find a suitable remedy for the sorrow of human life and achieve liberation from the process of anicca or impermanence.

The ‘breaking up’ of a deceased parent’s home and the apportionment of his worldly possessions brings home the reality of impermanence in a way that few other events do. Of course there are similar circumstances, some event more wrenching: the destruction of a home by bombing, earthquake, fire or tsunami would be examples, but I have been blessed not to experience those. The breaking up, I experienced last week.

Even though my parents and I were estranged for some years, I still viewed their home, with its familiar possessions, as an anchor; as a secure nest to which one could return. It seemed permanent. When they moved from our family home, to a smaller retirement home and then to an even smaller apartment in an assisted living community, traditional possessions remained. There was the leather topped desk, the “ancestor” portrait with its gilded frame, the civil war epaulettes, the states of green winged horses, the tennis trophies, still shined regularly, and much more. After father died, we returned to his apartment for the night and things seemed unchanged. It was as if he had just left for a short visit and would return shortly. I left, on Sunday afternoon, with my memories intact.

When I returned the following Wednesday, the tranquil ambience had been replaced by chaos. The three small rooms were filled with siblings, a packing crew, labeled packing boxes and debris. The walls had been stripped. The prized possessions of decades had become ‘stuff’ to be sorted, allocated, packed and loaded. Packing proceeded apace as we dealt with other formalities and logistical imperatives that accompany a death - reading the will, arranging the memorial service, obtaining necessary documents from the courthouse, renting two U-Haul trucks and loading them. By Friday, we were mostly done, though half a truckload still remained, to be picked up later. My siblings hit the road. I was alone the the empty shell of my father’s apartment, with more than six decades of memories.


A Death in the Family

My father died suddenly last weekend. Here is how I wrote about this time of transition and sadness, but also celebration, to a close friend:

I wanted to share with you the news that my father died last Saturday. We had all observed his precipitous weakening, mentally and physically over the past few weeks though the end came more suddenly than we expected. Clearly the time had come for him to move on to another life. It is truly a blessing to have had long lived parents. Especially with my father, we spent long hours together, one on one, over many years. There were few, in any, unanswered questions or unexpressed thoughts. We were 'complete' when he died. How could anyone ask for more? He was a good man, a good father and a good role model, though we differed in many ways. In frequent, long conversations, we came to relish our differences as well as our similarities. They added spice to our times together. I will miss him deeply.

Yesterday American University held its 19th Annual Ann Ferren Teaching Conference, named after a faculty member and former provost who has made a life commitment to strengthening College teaching. More than 250 faculty members attended. This event has become a very special gathering of the AU faculty community. It affirms and celebrates a craft that our faculty care about passionately and do very well.

In addition to helping to organize the conference, the Center for Teaching Excellence, working with a committee of faculty volunteers, is responsible for the event, I participated in a panel discussing the first year of teaching. I was scheduled to speak last and, as is often the case with panels, there was not sufficient time for me to speak, and also leave time for discussion. At a conference that emphasized the importance of participation in teaching, I though it important that we practiced what we preached. I opted to abbreviate my presentation to five minutes, but promised to post the entire set of notes on dormgrandpop.com.

This was the right choice. We had a great discussion.

My the promised notes, which may be of interest to students as well as faculty, follow.

ABOUT THE CONTEXT OF TEACHING
Faculty members are entrepreneurs as much as they are employees. You have more discretion than you think; take advantage of it and use it wisely.

AU, like other universities, has a distinctive culture and each school and college has its distinctive culture. View your first year of teaching or on a new campus, in part, as a project in ethnographic field research.

This is especially true as you begin to explore the perils and opportunities that university service and especially faculty governance provides. Paul Williams – “keep your hands in your pockets during faculty meetings.

The position of a first year faculty member, tenure track, temporary or adjunct is not a high leverage platform from which to effect institutional change.

Seeking help is not an admission of weakness. AU is an environment that is exceptionally rich in helping resources for faculty, most notably, office of the Dean of Academic affairs, University Library and, of course, the Center for Teaching excellence.

Be prepared to work long hours and to be ‘efficient.’

The skills of writing a dissertation represent only a small fraction of the skills necessary to succeed as a University Faculty member.

ABOUT THE CONTEXT OF TEACHING
Faculty members are entrepreneurs as much as they are employees. You have more discretion than you think; take advantage of it and use it wisely.

AU, like other universities, has a distinctive culture and each school and college has its distinctive culture. View your first year of teaching or on a new campus, in part, as a project in ethnographic field research.

This is especially true as you begin to explore the perils and opportunities that university service and especially faculty governance provides. Paul Williams – “keep your hands in your pockets during faculty meetings.

The position of a first year faculty member, tenure track, temporary or adjunct is not a high leverage platform from which to effect institutional change.

Seeking help is not an admission of weakness. AU is an environment that is exceptionally rich in helping resources for faculty, most notably, office of the Dean of Academic affairs, University Library and, of course, the Center for Teaching excellence.

Be prepared to work long hours and to be ‘efficient.’

The skills of writing a dissertation represent only a small fraction of the skills necessary to succeed as a University Faculty member.

ABOUT TEACHING
Students want to connect with you and they want to connect with you outside the classroom, however they are not very skillful in doing this.

Many of you may not be very skillful in connecting with students either.

Some students really want to learn and be challenged. Others, do not.

Some students will fail and not get it no matter how much time you spend and what you do.

Teaching is a skill and it can be learned. Get a couple of good books on teaching and read them. Examples are available in the Faculty Corner, Hurst 204.

Seek to constitute your classroom as a creative learning community.

Seek to constitute yourself as coach rather than referee or judge.

Use rubrics for grading.

Get feedback – especially through early or mid semester evaluations. Acknowledge it and make changes if you need to.

Keep your promises or acknowledge that you haven’t and apologize

Learn your students names.

Don’t forget the good students.

A reflection on aging

I have had occasion of late to be thinking a lot about the aging process. A family member is struggling valiantly with the circumscriptions and debilitations that are, inexorably, part of that process. Perhaps for that reason, this morning’s reading by Garrison Keillor (on NPR’s The Writers Almanac) struck home. It is entitled, ‘A Sonnet for Mary’

The old lady who's walking along Concourse A
Rather slowly in front of you, is making her way
To get on a plane to fly to Denver
Though she is in pain, she won't complain ever.
She walks all bent over. She's 91.
But her sister died and there's work to be done.
She must bury her sister and clean out the condo
And see to her niece who's retarded, sweet Rhonda.
There's a funeral to arrange, words to be said,
And her brother is useless, he's gone in the head.
Stuff to be cleaned out, a condo to sell,
And a 50-year-old child who can't care for herself.
She's an old lady who's needed out there.
She's heading for Denver on a wing and a prayer

by Ralph Edwards
(Read on the air and printed on The Writer’s Almanac website with permission of the author)

Achieving results when working with a 'provider'

My siblings and I are working at the moment with a health care provider who is caring for a patient in whom we have an interest. The specific circumstances are unimportant. This morning I was reflecting on - and sharing - some of what I have learned about working with service providers in a way that produces good results. The following is an excerpt.

In working with provider staff members, I have found that a judicious mix of genial civility, empathy and fear works best. Empathy and genial civility so that [provider staff] feel we are their partners, understanding their perspective and collaborating on a common endeavor, in this case our patient’s well being. Fear so they know there is a steel backbone behind the genial exteriors.

In most organizations,my experience has been that individuals are invariably overcommitted and over worked. The talents and abilities of staff, some of whom are underpaid, are varied. Some view their jobs as a professional calling, for others it is just a means of producing income. Mangers must decide when and when not to cut corners, give a task less than their fully committed attention and tolerate a degree of incompetence. They are also concerned ...with protecting themselves and covering up corner-cutting and incompetence when they need to. Provider staff need to know that we, ourselves, are experienced managers and their full partners in having their profession be a calling. They also need to know that if they do need to cut corners, take short-cuts, tolerate incompetence and cover up, the costs of doing so, in dealing with this particular case, will be most serious. I believe it is possible to create a context where this is fully understood without making the point outright. Outright threats can be counterproductive, of course, evoking resentment, hostility, resistance and sabotage.

Happily, the good news is that most people are fundamentally decent, caring and want to do a good job. They want that to be supported in that commitment, recognized, affirmed and appreciated. Our goal in working with provider staff can be to provide that kind of support, affirmation and recognition, while making it clear that anything less than their very best is unacceptable.

Just compensation?

Though a new year is beginning, I find that I cannot leave the old behind without venting briefly about two 2007 stories that I found particularly repugnant. My concern is the compensation packages recently awarded to “retiring” (read fired) Citibank Chief Executive Charles Price and Merrill Lynch Chief Executive Stanley O’Neil.

Stripping the verbiage from numerous stories in the business press, we learn that both men played key roles in implementing practices that have contributed to the current sub-prime mortgage debacle. This debacle is threatening the health of America’s economy and, perhaps even the global economy. Thousands of homeowners, by no means all of whom hold sub-prime mortgages have been stricken by spill-over consequences of actions by these financial leaders and others like them.

At least the firms they lead, too, are paying a price for entrusting positions of leadership to Price and O’Neil. Citibank, it is reported, will be writing down losses of $8 to $11 billion from subprime lending. Merrill Lynch losses are reported at $7.9 billion. Stockholders of the two companies are suffering additional losses.

But what about personal responsibility? It is reported that Price will receive compensation of about $27 million, plus $100 million in additional benefits from stock options. O'Neil's total package is reported to be $160 million.

I simply don’t get it. How can these men look themselves in the mirror each morning? How do they explain the morality of these circumstances to their children and grandchildren? Questions like this do not only originate with me. They also come from the students with whom I live at American University;.

It seems to me that the least Mr. Price and Mr. O’Neill could do is offer a heartfelt public apology to their former employees, stockholders and the American people. They could adopt a modest lifestyle, perhaps that of a police officer, military officer, social worker or junior high school teacher of a comparable age. They could donate the remainder of their ill gotten gains to some worthy cause.

That would be just compensation, it seems to me.

A cost effective path to happiness

I was listening yesterday to an NPR segment on ‘extreme sports.” It described the exploits of a skier - I can’t recall his name - who may have been responsible for coining the term. His feat is was climb to the top of precipitous cliffs in snow covered mountainous regions and ski down them. A single lapse of focus or insurmountable obstacle in his path meant instant death. In justifying this risk-taking, he described the “high” the “total focus” the “adrenalin rush” that this feat produced. And having completed one feat, it was not enough. Like Alexander the Great, he soon felt compelled to seek new worlds to conquer.

Many of us can cite similar, though less dramatic,‘highs,’ They are membered as notable, transient way-stations on a never ending quest for experiences of happiness and fulfillment. I can remember the moment I knew that the best - and most unconventional book - I ever coauthored would be completed. The first time I viewed my first child is another deeply etched, never-to-be forgotten high. First consummating a deep, passionate relationship is another.

In technologically advanced wealthy societies, the quest for happiness has become commodified and commercialized. In America, Christmas Season may be the best example. As the day set aside to commemorate the birth of Jesus Christ draws near, merchants, economists and politicians wait anxiously to see whether “consumers” will make the requisite 20 per-cent of the year’s purchases necessary to keep the economy healthy. Expensive hobbies, expensive hotels, expensive vacations all seem to be part of the elusive quest. Expensive watches are featured advertising subjects in the Economist magazine, which I read regularly. Typically, those pictured wearing them are sports stars (Tiger Woods) or handsome, somewhat disdainful young men, escorting beautiful young women in elegant surroundings. Clearly the purpose of these beautifully crafted timepieces is not to tell the time. One only need read the headlines in supermarket checkout tabloids to realize that the quest for happiness of young men and women who look like those is the advertisements is often elusive.

It must be my current exposure to the Dali Lama’s thinking, via his audio book, The Universe in a Single Atom, that keeps bringing Buddhist themes to mind. Lord Buddha’s teaching reminds us that the origin of suffering is attachment, in particular desire, passion and the striving for wealth, fame and popularity. Though the book is not about meditative practice, it reminds readers that meditative practice is an important discipline whose mastery can alleviate suffering and achieve happiness. Buddhist theories of consciousness maintain that our mental states, including suffering and happiness have causes. We can alter our mental states, the theories assert, by mastering the ability to alter their causes.

My beginner’s skills in meditative practice leave much to be desired, but I have learned two lessons. First, they can be put to use almost anywhere. Doctors’ and airport waiting rooms are places where meditations on breathing and single-pointedness seem particularly appropriate. Second, they require little in the way of commercially traded paraphernalia. I do use a standard issue candle, candle holder and small stone Buddha statue in my apartment. Total cost, less than $15. In waiting rooms, no paraphernalia is needed (though a set of ear plugs can be helpful).

Meditative practice may not be the only path to happiness - there is always, yachting, costly vacations, first class travel, expensive watches, and extreme sports. My purpose is not to denigrate these pursuits, but only to suggest an alternative if funds are limited or the satisfactions those options produce turn out to be transient.